awooooo...

I'd like to start by saying, "I LOVE MY JOB!!"

I just got to watch Wolfman before it's open. I was "watching for miss frames." Basically I got to watch the movie, by myself, and make sure it was put together correctly.

I love my job.

First, what exactly do I know about this movie. Well, watching it didn't really expand my mind. I wrote this next paragraph before I watched. It's pretty much spot on, with just a few tweaks.

What do I know about this movie? Well, Benicio del Toro plays Wolfie, which is quite possibly type-casting. Then again I can't really think of another movie he's been in. Hugo Weaving plays creepy inspector guy who also is a Wolfie and NO that's not a SPOILER because it was in the trailer.* It shouldn't've been there is we weren't supposed to know. Emily Blunt plays damsel... not much of a compelling role, and Sir Hopkins plays Van Helsing. Come one! I am not the only person who caught that connection.

*Weaving's character was not a Wolfie. The thing in the trailer was a creepy boy Wolfie that just happened to look like Weaving. That's just unfortunate. Sorry, but he's a creepy looking person.

Speaking of creepy looking people... EVERYONE (save Emily Blunt) in this movie is creepy looking. It's like they sent out the casting call specifically calling for creepy people. The only person they were missing was the guy that played Tracy in The Tooth Fairy.

So I laughed through the whole movie. Mainly because Jen is hilarious, but also because the movie turned out to be quite ridiculous. It could've been awesome. It could've been an awesome 3-hour movie, but I think they sent it to some hack team of editors who decided that the most important shots of the movie were moon phase montages.

They were everywhere! I know that the moon plays an important role in werewolf movies, but COME ON!! It's like nothing important ever happened the rest of the month so they just fast forwarded.

There were a lot of jump cuts to nothing. One scene had BdT and Miss Blunt sharing a moment by a waterfall. He "hears" distant horses. Cut to horses coming up the drive and he is ALREADY THERE!! How is he possibly that fast?

And that was another thing. I'm sorry, but BdT is not attractive. How did he end up as the romantic lead? I know, ugly people need love too (I know that better than most) but seriously... stick to the uggo crazy roles you're good at.

And don't get me started on hats...

I'm off topic.

I had high expectations for this movie. I need to learn to never have high expectations for a movie. They always let me down. This could've been epic, like Dracula. Okay, so Dracula wasn't a perfect movie, but I at least thought it was brilliantly made. This could've been epic, but in the end it was not.

So should you watch it? Well... I'm not one to tell people that they need to see a movie. Unless it's Ironman. Go see Ironman. This movie... watch it if you've exhausted all choices except Valentine's Day. Definitely watch this before that puke-fest of a movie.

very mindless...

Some days I just like to sit on the computer and think about what might have been. Oh, big SPOILER alert. This post may end up on the depressing side.

I have had so many people tell me just how much potential they see in me. They tell me that I'm very creative and so full of ideas and so wonderful for being so full of ideas. They tell me that they hate seeing me not do anything with my life because I do have so much potential. I would like to agree with them that I do, but for some reason I don't agree.

If I had so much potential, then why am I living like I am? Why am I not famous yet because they way people paint me, I should be doing something with me life. Instead I'm living with my sister, failing to pay bills, and working 2 part time jobs; one of which I hate. I shouldn't be living like this if I have so much potential.

Tell me I'm wrong.

My biggest problem is me. I have no drive. I really wish there was something in my life I would do anything for. I don't have that. Honestly, I remember in school (now I'm talking way back in high school and middle school even) whenever we were told to "imagine yourself in 10 years" I had nothing. I couldn't do it. "Imagine yourself in 10 years..." I would be 10 years older, and .... that's about as far as I got.

Why am I thinking about this right now? I'll tell you. I just watched the series finale of Dollhouse. It really doesn't have any correlation, but it kinda does. The reason is that Joss Whedon is like my hero. It's safe to say that. He writes like I do, at least I like to think that I write like him. His shows speak to me in a way that no other show has, and it's because the things the people say are things that I would say. His characters, albeit much more detailed, are like characters I would think up. Though I am a bit more on the morbid side. Then again, he has one foot firmly in the morbid side.

Anyways, I have today off of work, and I had goals that I set out to do. Am I going to do them? It's up in the air.

I've lost my train of thought.

[Fiser, OUT!]

CGI porn... I've really gotta stop naming these as porn

Well I was going to begin this review by saying that I had just seen a pretty good remake of FernGully: The Last Rainforest, but apparently I’m months behind on that comparison. I do want to say that if FernGully had Cameron’s budget, we wouldn’t have to worry about losing the rainforests anymore.

I just saw Avatar, which is James Cameron’s latest opus and not the live action version of one of the best Nickelodeon cartoons in recent years. (So can’t wait for that movie next year.) It was good… not the best movie I’ve seen this year, but good none the less.

A CGI enthusiast’s wet dream, Avatar is 60% photo-realistic CGI work and motion capture. 60%! 60! I spent a half hour trying to make a CGI banana that looked semi-banana-ish. I can’t fathom how many man hours it took to accomplish a 2 hour and 42 minutes movie that is 60% CGI. My mind just exploded.

I may want to include some plot into my review, but really who needs plot with a movie this pretty. James Cameron, that’s who! If there is one thing this man can do it is write a good story. Yes, it parallels FernGully, but it’s still a good story.

Jake Sully is an ex-Marine (but is anyone really an EX-Marine?) whose twin brother just died. They don’t really explain how, he just does. He was a scientist who had been studying for years just to link with his avatar to study the Na’Vi up close and personal. Since all this money has already gone into growing a fully formed human-Na’Vi avatar, they figure that one twin is just as good as the other.

One thing to mention, and unless you’ve been living under a rock you already know this, but Jake is in a wheelchair. Through some accident that isn’t really explained, he has been left dead from the waist down. So when he’s linked to his avatar, he fully regained the use of his lower extremities. So there’s a very endearing scene when he first tries his new legs.

So Jake masterfully infiltrates the Na’Vi…

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

Through a very lengthy chase sequence (which was made all that much worse by the lack of focus I had in the theater) he is “captured” by Neytiri, the daughter of the king of one of the many tribes of Na’Vi. She brings him back, though she really doesn’t want to, and then is forced to teach him the ways of the world.

And that’s all I’m gonna say about the story. If you want more, then go see the movie. I’m not for spoilers. Well… I am, but I’m not gonna be the one to tell you.

I did enjoy the movie, especially once they cleaned up the focus, and I would recommend it. It does strike chords of other movies, but seriously when one the last time you’ve seen anything original in the theaters? It’s kinda long, but it paces well.

I don’t have a rating system. I may need to think one up. In the meantime, I say that you should see it, especially if you like CGI work. It’s got some damn good CGI.

Fiser, OUT!

disaster porn...

... or why I love disaster movies....

I just saw the majority of 2012. I say majority because I missed the last half hour as we were all taking turns watching the reels so they don't brain wrap. If you understood that, congratulations! you probably work as a projectionist or did at one point.

Why I was voted the reel keeper for the very last portion of the movie is beyond me. It could be because I was sitting by myself all peaceful-like and they couldn't stand it. But most likely it was because I am over 18.

Back to my review...

I love disaster movies. I don't know what it is about them... the big budgets... the even bigger CG special effects... the obvious blue/green screen effects... but whatever it is, I love them. 2012 is no exception. It reeled me in to the point that I actually cared about the one-off character who, when introduced, you knew was gonna die, but you kept rooting for them anyways. (Oh, Sasha, you were hot and Russian. My two favorite qualities in a hot Russian.)

This movie had a lot of aspects of other disaster movies in it. One could safely say that it was like almost all major disaster flicks rolled into one. You had some Poseidon mixed with Titanic (which is very redundant) mix in some Perfect Storm and 10.5 (yes, I watch the SciFi... 'scuse me, SyFy movies) then sprinkle on top some Day After Tomorrow only flip it.

I would have to say that this movie is very much like Day After Tomorrow, only instead of a new Ice Age you have extreme global warming. In fact, it seems that the harmless neutrinos released from solar flares are actually cooking the Earth from the inside out. Just like a microwave, and that analogy is straight from the movie. (Which is surprising to think that I could actually come up with a line from the beginning of a 3 HOUR movie.)

I must pause here for a second and mourn. I just read on Wikipedia (I know, a very reputable news source) that there is plans to make a TV series based on the lives of the survivors. I smell bad idea.

I was searching for something but I know can't remember what it was.

Hmmm....

Oh yeah, at one point in the story the land masses shift as well as the poles. This puts the South Pole smack dab in the middle of Wisconsin.

So, yeah, looks like another normal winter for Wisconsin in 2012.

Yay, Wisconsin jokes!!

I'm totally off track. I liked the movie. I don't want to spoil anything... Not that I could having not seen the last 30 minutes. But I do want to not spoil the things I did see.

It's a disaster movie.
It's not for everyone.
I enjoyed it a lot.
Sasha is a hot Russian.

Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

Laters,
Erin

torture porn...

In 2004 a little movie came out that I did not watch. The following year another one made its way to the screen, and I still did not watch it. I flat out refused to watch these movies because I thought they were nothing more than torture porn.

Well… they are nothing more than torture porn.

Okay, the first one is not. I finally watched the first one in the summer of 2006. Honestly, I thought it was a bit boring until the end. Then I had to immediately watch it again. There was so much I missed the first time around because even though I had actively chose to watch the movie, I wasn’t watching the movie.

Thus began my obsession with Saw. There is something about the first one… I don’t know what it is, but those two Aussies just created a world that was so twisted and yet somehow … it just made sense. All the interconnections just worked. Yes, it left a lot of holes, but the holes let the viewer think of outcomes themselves.

Then I watched the second one, the one by Mr. Bousman, and I was very disappointed. Now I like this guy’s style and cannot wait for Mother’s Day, but I did not like what he did to the story. It was just … highly predictable.

I saw the third in the theater. I liked it. It wasn’t my favorite, but at least it told a story.
The fourth was a little bit of a letdown and once again was predictable.

I completely skipped out on the fifth one, and from what I’ve heard I didn’t miss much. I’ll watch it eventually.

Now for Saw VI.

I really enjoyed it. It actually had a story, and a good one at that. It really went into the back story that ALL the fans were asking for. Well, all except Dr. Gordon.

FACE IT PEOPLE!!! He died in the hallway. He did just cut off his foot.

Sorry, I really needed to get that out. Go out and read the Saw message boards and you’ll see what I mean.

But seriously, the movie is worth seeing. Yes, there are some awful “games” throughout the movie, but it is a Saw movie. It comes with the territory. The opening game did make me laugh, though. Two people are trapped in cages and they are supposed to give “their pound of flesh” only Jigsaw means literally. They are given a large carving knife and a butcher block chopper. So we have a fat guy on one side that starts cutting off chucks of fat from his abdomen. On the other side is this skinny ass chick. She panics and grabs the carving knife and contemplates “fingers… hand… arm…” cause she doesn’t have the luxury of extra fat. She decides arm, but instead of immediately grabbing the chopper on hacking away, she saws a bit. So I’m laughing yelling at the screen, “use the butcher’s, you dumb bitch,” and my co-worker’s are now very concerned for my sanity, but am I wrong. They were on a timer. She does end up using the chopper and removing her arm (oh, SPOILER alert… it’s only the first 5 minutes of the film, get over it) and outweighing the competition.

I highly recommend it. Surprisingly enough I would actually rate it second on my list. The original is first, obviously, and then VI, III, IV, II, and V, but only because I haven’t seen V.

So, that’s my review.

OH!..... I’m pretty sure that I saw a thumb or a PA’s head in the corner of the screen during one screen. I would have to rewatch it to make sure and get note what scene it was, but I’m pretty sure it was an oops. I like finding oopses in movies.

I’ll be back soon with whatever movie I watch next.

Ciao.

history lesson...

I just watched Tarantino's epic Inglorious Basterd.

Yes, be jealous...

It was good, like really good. Quite possible one of the best movies I've ever seen. Okay, maybe not that great, but it was really, really good. Tarantino knows how to tell a great story on film.

I wish I could do that....

Anyways, I'm not gonna tell much of the plot, because I watch you to watch for yourself, but let's just say it's not historically accurate.

But no one expected it to be, especially since there was no Eva Braun casting.

Look for Christoph Waltz as the evil Col. Landa, quite possibly the best baddie this year (and fluent in 4 languages). Though, you don't have to look hard, he's in most the film.

Oh.... and awesome Brits being British, except that one is Canadian (yes, it's Mike Myers) and the other is actually a German-born Brit. But still a Brit.

I could've sworn that there is an anachronism in the movie, but then again as it tells you at the end...

(paraphrasing) "Although based on actual people and event, the events are fictious and the characters should not be based on anyone living or dead...."

Blah blah blah, that normal mumble at the end of all movies that are fictious.

But my anachronism (if you don't know, look it up) is that I could've sworn one of Brad's line was something something Liza on Ice, or something like that. He definately said Liza on Ice. Well, the only Liza that I know, or really matters, is Liza Minelli and she wasn't born yet.

Other than that.....

I thought this movie was fantastic! Definately one of his best.

Fiser, OUT!
[drops mic] <--- I have to lose the carrots, they weren't showing up.

failing at life...

I had a shitty evening. Hear, let me tell you all about it.

So I'm a big failure and I cry a lot. I cry a lot in front of other people. And there is no better way to make awkward situation more awkward then crying in front of someone you don't know.

I made it through the wedding without crying, though. Because the wedding was good. Everything was spectacular... until the very end.

I hate people!

Fiser, OUT!